Monday Morning Coffee: If You Don’t Like Your Mother

What to do on Mother’s Day If You Don’t Like Your Mother. Mother’s Day is a time where most people acknowledge their love for their mother, with gifts, dinner, or some other form of acknowledgement. But what do you do if you don’t like your mother? There are many people, with many reasons, that aren’t very happy on Mother’s Day. So, what do you do?

Mother's Day What if you don't like your mother

The media and retailers are in full swing around the holidays, including Mother’s Day. They show all the neat things you can buy and flowers to send. But how often do you see an advertisement on what to do if you don’t like your mother? I know I haven’t seen any, so here is a short list of things you can do on Mother’s Day that will make you feel good.

5 Things to do on Mother’s Day if you don’t like your mother

  1. When you see the sales for Mother’s Day go ahead and buy something.  But instead of sending it to your mother, keep it for yourself!
  2. Eat whatever you want on this day, whatever you like and makes you feel good.  It would be great if someone else cooked for you, but if not well, you will figure it out.
  3. Shut off your phone. If you have siblings that want to make you feel guilty for not doing anything for your mother, it’s best not to have the phone on.
  4. If you want to go out with friends, then do it.
  5. Tell yourself that it’s OK to take care of yourself on Mother’s Day if you truly don’t like your mother.

Now, with all that said, I am not an advocate for a spoiled rotten child not wanting to spend time with their mother.  If I’ve heard it once, I’ve heard a million times from young people that they don’t want to drive to their Mother’s house or spend time with her doing what she wants.  Even children that had a tiff with their mother I don’t advocate not acknowledging her, or making her feel special for Mother’s Day.  This was written for the abused kids, the foster kids, the unwanted ones, or the ones that might have lost their mother and have a step-mother that they haven’t accepted yet. Even if these kids are now adults.

Whatever you do, do it in good conscious, as life is too short to have regrets.  You just never know when your mother might not be around anymore. Don’t lose the opportunities you have to tell her you love her, because if anything happens, you might not get the chance.  One thing I learned is we can love someone without liking everything about them, and that’s OK.

 

6 thoughts on “Monday Morning Coffee: If You Don’t Like Your Mother

  1. Taboo topic isn’t it? We are all suppose to be loving our mother and mother are suppose to be good, nice, patient, full of love. But unfortunately it’s not always the case. I have been lucky and I have a wonderful mother (and I am trying to be a good mother now that it’s my turn) but pretending that becoming a mother makes a person better is just not true. Some human being are just bad, mother or not.

  2. Love it! Glad someone said it out loud! I recently removed my mother from my life. No more being manipulated and lied to. No more putting up with feeling the hate emulating from my brother because he thinks I am something i am not…something my mother created. I would love to say she can’t hurt me anymore but somehow she always seems to find a way. I love to celebrate mothers day…the fact that I am a wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy better mother than mine ever was!

    • Tami- Sounds like you made the best decision for you and your immediate family, and good for you for taking control. Now this Mother’s Day…celebrate away, and do all the good things for yourself with no guilt. You deserve it!

  3. I’ve put an end to celebrating Mother’s Day in an early stage of my motherhood. It was ok for the kids to make me something when they were still in kindergarten and primary school, but I never wanted them or obliged them to buy me something and my hubby thinks the same way.

    I always said ‘if you insist on giving me something on Mother’s Day, don’t buy gifts or flowers, but you may pick a dandelion or a daisy from the field and I’ll be happy as a mom can be’. And that’s what they did for years.

    Today both kids have their own lives and don’t live close to me, but even if they would live close to me, I wouldn’t want my kids to feel obliged to visit me on Mother’s Day. But then….I’m not a conventional thinking mom. Come to think of it, I’m not conventional in any way. 🙂

  4. Your ideas are good ones!

    Not everybody has the Norman Rockwell picture perfect sort of life that the holidays (including Mother’s Day) depict. Mother’s Day can be especially heart rending for those who have experienced the soul shattering pain of being unwanted or unloved by their mothers. My wish is that your words may find their way to those people and provide them some comfort.

    • Jannele….exactly. Not everyone has a “Norman Rockwell type relationship” and the days like Mother’s Day can be tough on them. I hope too that the people that need these kinds of affirmation find them, whether here or anywhere, just don’t let guilt ruin the day.

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